I left high school knowing exactly what I wanted to do with my life and exactly how I was going to get there. However, once I got to university my entire perspective changed. University wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t quite like what I had heard from other people or seen on TV, with endless interesting classes that would keep me from zoning out like I did in high school. With courses that had nothing to do with my degree, an early morning, and a long commute reality struck hard. University came with the studying and stress that high school had, but multiplied by around ten (or more depending on the week), and with the freedom of choosing whether or not to go to class (making that decision is a struggle on its own). This has all left me questioning and confused: “Is this really what I want to do for the next few years of my life? Did I make the right choice?” Through all of these questions, I have learned a few things. For one, I am definitely not the only person questioning my decision in going to university and constantly pondering what the meaning of life is. Humans have a hard time being sure of themselves, constantly wondering “what if?” What if I chose to go to a different school, or entered a different field? What if I decided to leave everything behind right this moment by booking a one-way plane ticket to somewhere far away? With this in mind, I looked to those around me, from my two best friends, to my mom, and each of them has had (or has) similar feelings as to what I’m feeling right now. Do many of us really know what we want do with our lives, who we want to be? Probably not. So for everyone out there questioning the choices they have made, whether it is going to university in general to the degree that you chose, you are not alone. There are plenty of us who have no idea what we’re doing with our lives- trust me. You have time to decide who you want to be. Even if you do decide to change, the change won’t happen overnight. It takes time, but in the meantime we can enjoy what we have right now. While I personally may not enjoy spending so much of my time studying, university has given me chances that I may not have gotten if I hadn’t chosen this path.
I don’t doubt that I would be feeling just as confused if I had chosen a different path after high school. I also don’t doubt I’ll be feeling a similar way once I’ve finished my degree and am starting up the next part of my life. The “what ifs” will keep happening, but in the end, we’re allowed to feel that way sometimes.