Twisted Patio Party
FRIDAY April 7th, 2017
The glorious time has arrived again, the segue between final papers, presentations, pressing assignments, and final exams. Amidst all of the hum-drum and hectic last minute preparations, we must not be so base as to forget one of the pillars of the University experience: drinking. If you’re not soaking the rays and drinking some beers and palm bays with the student body, well then it seems like you’re just not thinking (or you have a religious or personal preference against it, no judgment). Whatever your preference on libations, this is an important venue to bond with your peers, when they are imbibed on mad breezys and beers. How else can I make this clear?
The Buffalo patio has always been one of the marquee events put on by the CSA, but as much as they have to work to put the event together, it’s the collective participation of the student body that makes this event truly special. Let me paint a picture for you. You’re at a picnic table on the patio with your closest school friends, soaking in rays of sunshine, cans clink together, exuberant laughter becomes a choral line under and over the music bumping out of the speakers, the worries of the past few weeks and the concerns of the weeks to come dissipate into thin air, and serenity overcomes the chaos of semester’s end.
I suggest this year that we also adopt a new rule for the patio as well. Given the title “Buffalo patio”, it makes perfect sense to me that everyone should abide by the ‘buffalo’ rules of drinking. Which simply put, means you don’t drink with your dominant hand. So for the lefties out there, put that can in your right hand, and for the righties, lean back with your drink in your left. That simple. If you see someone drinking with their dominant hand, call them out with a “Buffaloooooooo!” and, well, they have to finish their drink, or sing aloud, “Buffalo, buffalo, I am not worthy, Buffalo, buffalo, please oh please forgive me!” The singing part I made up, but it makes sense to still have comeuppance for those who want to drink at their own pace. This isn’t ‘Nam, there are rules! *Insert photo of John Goodman from the Big Lebowski, you know the one I’m thinking of*
Now this is the part of the piece where I would try and conclude, using my best persuasive language to convince you, the Concordia student reader, that there is no better choice on Friday April 7th, than the Twisted Patio Party on the Buffalo patio, but that would be a complete and utter insult to the intelligence of the Concordia student body. You know what it is. You know where it is. It’s up to you, the students, to make this Friday afternoon one to remember (or blissfully not remember).
Expect to see me Twist n’ Shout,
Filler: Fresh Summer Tunes
Humble- Kendrick Lamar
Cane Shuga- Glass Animals
Sooner or Later- Mia Martina ft. Kent Jones
Heatstroke- Calvin Harris ft. Young Thug, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande
Come Closer- Wizkid ft. Drake
Privacy- Chris Brown
Don’t Take The Money- Bleachers
Love Yourself- Mary J. Blige ft. Kanye West
Light My Body Up- David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne
Ultralife- Oh Wonder