People become so fixated on what their perception of themselves is; scared to make a change. A comment, critique, or compliment is enough to solidify an individual’s perception of who they are.
That’s one way I differ; I still don’t know entirely who I am, but I just keep living and trying new things. I’m not scared to take my life in an entirely new direction if it suits me or the current situation. I respond to my desires (while still maintaining self-control) and allow myself to take chances and opportunities I would have turned down in the past due to fear of criticism.
Fear of criticism is accompanied by symptoms of self-consciousness, lack of poise, lack of initiative/ambition, and an inferiority complex. I knew I was better than that, so I made it known to myself that my purpose is greater than my feelings of insecurity. I want to create waves of positivity and change the world for the better. I’ll be judged regardless of what I do, so I should do what I know in my heart and soul to be the right move. I did so by allowing myself to pursue ideas and actions that fit the mold of what I need to accomplish. In doing so I allowed my personality to remain fluid and ever-changing. Don’t allow your personality to crystallize and become set in your ways; the moment you’re satisfied with yourself is the moment you as a person plateau. Allow changes to happen and new ideas and opinions to be generated. Deciding to yourself “oh, I’m a writer,” and then never allowing yourself to become anything more is so incredibly limiting! Master the art of writing, and move on to something else! It doesn’t mean leave writing in the dust, just keep adding to your repertoire. Keep growing and learning.
It’s like limiting the amount of friends you have. Many people get into a relationship and completely change who they are, limiting outsiders and friends who may not have the most substantial relationships with them to merely social media acquaintances. I know because I was guilty of this, as well as I’m aware of several of my friends who have distanced themselves from the pack upon entering a relationship. I learned from my mistake, but it’s not like I can ridicule someone else for doing it; hindsight is 20/20. Sometimes clarity isn’t always possible when thoughts and feelings are emotionally charged. I realize this preys on the feeling of jealousy and insecurity of outsiders breaking the bond of the relationship, but it’s an obstacle that needs to be overcome in order to promote growth in yourself and in the relationship. For some, jealousy is an unsurmountable barrier in a relationship. However, this author believes trust to be a major key in a relationship; jealousy being a symptom of mistrust. This is why my last relationship didn’t work out; I’m glad I could learn from it.
I lived in fear for too long! Fear of being alone, fear of criticism; but why? All it did was hinder who I could be as a person. Instead of continually running and masking the problem, I decided to address it head on. I became okay with being alone, and I forced myself to change my perspective on criticisms. Being okay with being alone doesn’t mean I want to be; just that I can be patient enough to take the time to find the right match instead of just somebody. Criticism often stems from a reaction to something new or strange. People ridicule something that cannot understand or comprehend. Henry Ford was told the automobile was a terrible idea that would never catch on. Look how that turned out.
Use critical thinking to form your own opinions. Don’t be obedient to the old-school method of living your life. I define this as settling down; you’re okay with where you’re at and you put life into cruise control. Don’t allow your personality to become crystallized (I can’t stress this enough). Keep growing, learning, and expanding your perspectives. Change is omnipresent, don’t try and fight it. Embrace change and enjoy the fact that it keeps life unique; it keeps pushing you to grow, learn, and expand your mind to new thoughts and ideas.
It took years to beat depression. YEARS! It wasn’t easy, in fact it was a terribly unstable journey. I didn’t beat it by having someone else tell me how to think. In university I studied psychology to better understand the intricacies of the mind; I wanted to know why I felt the way I felt. I wanted to know what I could do to remedy the pain. I wanted to gain a perspective of the world I hadn’t yet discovered to help me mask the pain. I took philosophy courses, I learned about government and society. I worked as a social worker to humble myself and help my fellow humans. I took influences from every single source, I pushed myself to learn something from every single person I met (whether that was how to do something or how not to do it). I crowdsourced my knowledge, I changed my perspectives, I took chances I knew would make me uncomfortable. And years later, I blossomed. It hasn’t even quite been a year since I “conquered” depression, and I won’t fall back into the same trap. I’m unstoppable; the mental strength I have now is unfathomable. I’m still an emotional person, but I don’t let the emotions quiver the core of who I am. I will bend but not break We must train our minds to work in our favour instead of being our worst enemy. I used to be afraid to think thoughts I knew would be self-destructive or depression-inducing. I used to. You often feel as if you’re being completely honest with yourself by highlighting the negative aspects of a situation, but what I didn’t realize for the longest time is that there is a positive or silver lining in every situation life hands you. I thought my mom leaving me was pure negative and induced only negative feelings from me for the longest time. One day I realized I would never be as close with my dad had she stayed around, I wouldn’t value my family the way I do now, and I wouldn’t have learned an invaluable lesson. That lesson is that everything is temporary, which now helps my mind maneuver through the turmoil and unpredictability of reality.
You too can break through the threshold to become to most incredible version of yourself you can be. This world isn’t an easy place to navigate. Start with yourself; discover who you are through self-reflection and continual growth. Be open to new ideas and thoughts to help you break out of your mental shell.
It’s not a one size fits all method; do what works best for you. Just keep moving forward.
Keep growing fam, trust the process. Embrace change, love and learn from those around you. Ensure every step you take has a purpose. Be fluid, be real, be loving. The world will love you back, I promise.