After contemplating suicide in a particularly dark depressive episode at that time, I reached out to my mother and finally discussed how I'd been feeling. She was actually quite supportive, and with her support I began seeing a counsellor Having an unbiased and trustworthy person to talk to about my past and my emotional problems has been an extremely positive influence in my life, even more helpful than medications. Talking about it in this way is like fully acknowledging its reality, which is an empowering feeling.
My new boyfriend is just recently starting to learn about my struggles and has also been quite accepting. My counsellor and I have not spoken about improving my self-image or self-esteem yet, but that may be a focus in the future, as it may be one of the foundational issues relevant to everything else. It seems obvious, even to me that I didn't deserve to be treated so poorly. But clearly I've questioned this and it can be hard to acknowledge the difficult truth. It hurts when I think about how little I thought of myself. Being mentally healthy is important to working towards other kinds of success in life, and already my grades and motivation seem to be slowly improving since seeing the counsellor. Remember that there are free counselling services on campus. Please ask for help… you matter and you are worth it!