Success is ambiguous; something that isn’t exactly quantifiable, yet the means in which we attempt to do so are commonly done through fiscal measures. Money is something that has taken over the capitalist state of mind. One can seemingly never have too much of it, and if anyone wants a piece of our income they have to earn it, right? Individuals have more money than they know what to do with, yet we see such an immense gap in wealth inequality. Individuals living day to day on extremely limited funds, and yet there are individuals worth hundreds of billions of dollars.
Having money is not everything; not having it is.
From my perspective, success is an unquantifiable measure. Success is what we make of it; no one can determine what defines success in our eyes. We have the power to enable ourselves to fulfill whatever it is that makes us content. For me, success is finding my own niche in this world. It’s about having the things that may not provide income such as family and friends, perhaps a hobby. It’s about being a good person; being able to look back at your life and seeing the positives outweigh the negatives. Helping those in need, while also being courteous and respectful to everyone we encounter are beneficial not only for those we treat kindly, but for our own spirits.
At the end of the day when we’re on our deathbed, will our money and possessions be there to console us and show us love? Will they tell you everything will be okay, kiss you on the forehead and hold you close in our time of greatest need. Simply put, our lives will be over one day, so let’s leave something for us to be remembered by; a true legacy.
Alejandro Jodorowsky, film maker, states “What is the goal in life? It’s to create a soul.”
This quote resonated with me. What he means by this is that once we die, how will we be remembered? What will we leave behind that will carry our name through generations? Make a difference, make magic happen by pouring yourself into creating something for this world. Money will not leave behind a legacy, only numbers in a bank account. Search for something deeper, something more meaningful than chasing dollar bills.
I’m going to state the obvious and say things moved very quickly; but I cannot gauge the passion or the love of the relationship, sometimes two people know exactly what they want in another person, and love can take off without warning, sparking something magical. I’m going to err on the side of caution and agree it may have been the right thing to say “no” to the aunty situation at this time. It will take a couple of years before the child is able to comprehend that you are permanent presence (or not) anyways, so I think playing it safe is a fine thing to do. If you two are still together at that point, than it may be appropriate to allow the child to consider you an aunt.
Based on what you’ve told me, it would appear that your comment where you stated “what if we split up” may have planted that seed of doubt you now believe is present in your boyfriend. In this case I would ask you, are you 100% sure of this relationship? I think you may be over-thinking the situation, but that’s not a bad thing. Take a step back and look at the relationship as a whole. Does this gentleman make you smile? Does he understand you in ways no one has done before? Does his simple presence turn bad days into good ones?
Basically, what I’m saying is that it’s okay to have these doubts, as long as they’re not persistent. I have learned that there will always be ups and downs in relationships; it’s how you handle the negatives that make a couple stronger. I think the best thing to do in this circumstance is to simply discuss this with your boyfriend. These hard conversations really are no fun, but can produce such a tremendous upside if done with courtesy and respect. Don’t be afraid to be real with him or yourself; but also don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for something great. You need to have faith in the relationship being able to last the test of time or it simply won’t work; eventually you’ll run tired of trying to make something happen that just doesn’t seem to work.