Dear Life ‘N Stuff,
My girlfriend of six months hasn't updated her Facebook status yet, should I be worried?
Your name seems a little extreme for the situation, just saying. In regards to your question, I would say that it really isn’t a major issue. Not everyone posts their relationship status online and not everyone uses social media in the same way as others. Does your girlfriend use Facebook on a constant basis to share every minute detail of her life, or is it more of a vehicle to stay in touch with others that is only used every so often? If it’s closer to the latter, then you really have nothing to worry about since your girlfriend obviously is not into social media like many others out there. If it was the former option and she can’t be without updating her status every second, then maybe it’s time you brought it up in conversation. It shouldn’t be too hard, you have been dating six months and your relationship is going fairly well if this is your biggest problem.
Open conversation is important to any relationship, so if something is bothering or upsetting you let your significant other know.
-Life ‘N Stuff
I’ve been with my significant other now for almost 2 years and I’m not sure we’re in the same place we were when we started dating and I don’t know if we’re still compatible. Do we break up? Do we hope things go back to the way they were? Opinions from your readers would also be fantastic!
I hate to break this to you, but you are growing up and changing every single day and so is your partner. That’s just the way the world works, especially for university students as our ideas and knowledge about life can be challenged and changed in every class. It sounds like you and your significant other need to sit down and have a nice long, and possibly tear-filled, chat. It is important to keep in mind though that while your relationship and ideas have changed, it doesn’t mean you are necessarily different people. You can still both have the same underlying characteristics that you had before but maybe with new interests or a broader view of the world.
It might also be the fact that you are getting to know each other better and are finding things out that aren’t necessarily favourable to you or your partner. As I said before, a long chat between the two of you would probably be a good thing. Just remember a couple things:
- Don’t get mad - You’ve both grown in the last two years and you may both have issues that have been developing, so remember to be calm when discussing things and to make sure both of you aren’t attacking each other, because that won’t resolve anything.
- Be willing – With change may come new interests and hobbies and if this is what is in the way of your relationship then maybe it’s time to take an interest in your partners newer interests. Remember, it’s the thought that counts. If your partner is getting into knitting and that’s just not your thing, give it a go. Cooking classes together? Fun! If their hobby has become something unhealthy, for instance alcoholism or drugs, then DON’T be willing to try it and seek professional help immediately.
- Grow together – This sounds super cheesy, but hear me out. Again, the growth and change in yourselves and your relationship has to do with your new thoughts and ideas as well as your significant other’s. So try and find a common ground between your differing interests. Again, it could be as simple as taking a dance class once a week to connect again.
If you’re unwilling to talk to your significant other about these issues then maybe they aren’t that significant to you. I hope that you can work things out for the best, but communication is what I believe is necessary in this situation.
Readers, if you have any other advice to the people who e-mailed me, send it in and I’ll be sure to post your responses online or in the next issue of The Bolt
-Life ‘N Stuff
Remember if you have an issue that you’d like some advice on let me know by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. All your info will be kept private, but do note that anything you send can be printed in The Bolt.